Volume 2, Issue 4

A Full Circle Moment

When the student is ready the teacher will appear. I know you’ve heard that saying before, however, I believe that those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own or not, are exposed to some of life’s greatest teachers. In their innocence, their attitudes, perspectives and behaviour often shine a light on our shadows. Our challenge is to recognize it for what it is - a chance to change something about ourselves.

One of our daughter’s came to visit recently. She graduates from University this year, and wanted to talk about her next step. We expected her too be filled with joy. After all, she’s spent the last five years preparing for this moment and she will graduate with honors, but that wasn’t her perspective. She didn’t feel that what she’d accomplished was significant at all. Her sentiment was “it’s no big deal, everyone I know will get a degree.” As she elaborated on her feelings, it struck me that she was down playing her significance. I felt as though she was taking all that she had earned for granted, and that bothered me a lot.

Why wouldn’t she want to celebrate what she had accomplished? What was wrong with being proud and using that pride and confidence to propel her towards her career? We spent the weekend talking about just that, and by the time she left, her perspective had shifted. But I couldn’t get it out of my mind.

A few days later I had what I call a full circle moment - an epiphany if you will. Yes, I was disappointed with her attitude, but my feelings about that couldn’t come close to the disappointment I felt in me. She was mirroring an attitude that I had been carrying around for some time, and it was taking its toll.

As I reflected on the words of wisdom that I had shared with her, I realized that they also applied to me, so I took my own advice. My perspective shifted almost as quickly as it had for her and the feeling of relief was welcomed.

Our daughter, the student, was a teacher for me that weekend, and I appreciate all that she taught me.

When we find ourselves bothered by the words and actions of our friends, colleagues, strangers and even our children, it should give us reason to pause and ask - what are they trying to show me? Where in my life does this attitude or behaviour show up, and what am I going to do about it?

I hope when your teacher appears that you will experience a full circle moment and that you'll take full advantage of what they so desperately want you to learn.