Volume 1, Issue 15

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

Over the past three months you’ve been encouraged to be impeccable with your word, not to take anything personally and not to make assumptions, as a way of making your relationships with others more joyful. In this, our final installment of Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements, we’ll touch on agreement number four:

•1. Be Impeccable with your Word

•2. Don’t take anything personally

•3. Don’t make assumptions

4. ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

When I was about 12 years old, I remember confessing to my mother how afraid I was that I would fail an upcoming history exam. I recall that she did her best to calm my nerves, but it was what she said that made the difference, because it freed me from my fear of failing and disappointing her. Mum said “Gill, don’t be afraid, if you have prepared as thoroughly as you can, then you have done your best.” “But what if my best isn’t good enough” I replied. Her response was clear and affirming “if you have done everything in your power to prepare for this exam, then no matter what the outcome you know you’ve done your very best and that’s all that matters.”

It’s been decades since my mother said those words to me, and even though she has long since passed away, they still resonate with me as strongly as they did all those years ago. I’ve come to appreciate the value in “Always doing your best” and the significance of knowing that I only need to do my best in the moment.

Let me explain. Many of us are living our lives by default – going along to get along. Now imagine if you will that what you call your life is the sum total of a series of moments linked together like a chain - minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, etc. Rather than mindlessly going through the motions, what do you think would happen to your life if you started to consciously manage every moment knowing that every change you made would make a difference in the final outcome? I know this much, I’d rather make moment by moment adjustments, than looking back at a year in my life with regret.

Our Family members, peers and personal experiences are big contributors to what we believe about ourselves and the world around us. In fact, our beliefs are so entrenched in who we are that we don’t know how strongly we feel about things until they are challenged.

The Four Agreements, cause us to “think” about what we believe, and offers a course of action that can help us experience life in a more thoughtful and exciting way.

And so……the final exercise for the rest of your life is quite simple:

Practice using the Four Agreements with the one person in your life that rubs you the wrong way:

Speak to them with integrity.

Know that nothing they or others do is because of you.
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want and,
Always do your best.
If you can do this with just one person in your life, then in time you’ll be able to do it with everyone in your circle, and in those moments it will be the best you can do - and that’s all that matters.