Volume 1, Issue 8

Living by Default or Living by Design – Your choice

For many, turning 30 is a defining moment in their lives. It marks the end of the carefree twenty-something era, and can herald the start of a more serious way of thinking about life. When I turned 30, I distinctly remember thinking two things – “what just happened? and, there’s got to be more to life than this.”

Not knowing what you want in your life can be a source of serious angst. It was for me. It’s like getting in your car without knowing where you’re going or leaving for vacation with no destination in mind. How do you know what to pack? How do you get there? Thinking back I realized my first 30 years were a blur, because I hadn’t taken an active role in creating my future, I’d been living by default.

I knew I didn’t want the next 30 years to feel the same, so I decided to do something about it. I would become conscious about designing the life I wanted. In the decade since my 30th birthday, that’s exactly what I’ve done. It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s definitely been worth it. I’ve come to understand that my life has purpose and meaning, and that knowledge fuels my soul. I don’t leave home anymore without knowing where I’m going.

Living by design takes commitment (see the January issue Decide, Commit Believe). To make it work, you have to get in touch with what’s important to you. Once you are aware of what you value, you can then begin to figure out what you want in your life.

Wherever you are on your life’s journey, I hope you know where you are going. If you don’t here are a few road signs to help you on your way:

1. Figure out what’s important – Take the Values Test provided below.
2. Ask yourself, What do I want? Without concern about money, skill or time, make a list of every conceivable thing you want in and for your life.
3. Group your “wants” under common categories, e.g., Career, Family, Leisure, etc.

4. Prioritize your “wants” using your top five values as determined in 1. above. E.g., if Family is identified as your #1 value, then your wants relating to family will be a higher priority than your “wants” related to Career.

This process will take some time. Be patient and honest with yourself. It’s worth it.

In next month’s issue, we’ll turn your hard work into a blueprint that will get you get started Living by Design.